It’s been about a week since I announced to the world that I am writing a book. I have to tell you that I’ve wanted to write a book for a long time. Really, I’ve wanted that for as long as I can remember. So why didn’t I take this leap sooner?
I don’t really know. I was in school. When I finished school, I had to look for a job. After that, I was a new bride focused on building a relationship. Starting a new business, building a new house, and then kids came along. They brought with them a whole new slew of excuses allowing me to put off my dream of writing a book. That kid list of excuses is at least fourteen years long; my older son is now thirteen and a half.
None of those was the real reason I didn’t write. So what was the reality? Easy. Four little letters that paralyze even the strongest among us. Fear. I was afraid.
Of what? I guess I was afraid of criticism. I suppose you could call it the wrath of the red pen. What if people don’t like what I write and it gets skewered from top to bottom? Who am I to pull all these thoughts from my head and pour them out onto paper? What if people reject me?
Wow. For too long, I allowed that fear to paralyze me. It took control of my lifelong dreams and desires. Well, no more. Today, well last week really, but you know what I mean, I tell that fear to stick it where the sun don’t shine and leave me the hell alone. Fear no longer controls me.
I still have that fear. If we don’t hold on to a little fear, I think we all will go a little nutso. It’s in overcoming our fear that makes us shine. This fear, though, is a different kind of fear, and one that I embrace fully. It’s that fear you feel as you slowly ascend that first hill on the roller coaster. There’s the tingle in your stomach, and the slight lump in your throat as you catch your breath. You realize that you may be holding your breath in just a little longer than normal. You finally reach the peak, there’s a split second where you think, or scream aloud, “I don’t know if I want to do this!” And then, down you go. It’s scary, exhilarating, possibly the greatest rush there is outside of leaving orbit or skydiving (I’m NOT doing that). Somehow, you make it through, and when it’s all over, you can’t wait to do it all over again.
Take that, fear. I like the roller coaster.
#StartToday #dreamsintoreality #AmWriting #inspiredtowrite
P.S. – Let inspiration lead you when it strikes. I pulled over into a local gas station to write this post because I knew if I didn’t, I would lose the spark of the idea.